A Charlie Brown Ramadan
by J. M. Blockhead
Summary: When the little red haired girl's Arabian pen pal visits her in America, the entire Peanuts gang will wind up celebrating the Islamic festival of Ramadan. But, will Lucy's prejudices against Muslims leave her hating the religion forever? Read and find out! -In loving memory of Charles "Sparky" Schulz and dedicated to my wonderful friend Akram Sobhy
1. A Story in the Papers

A Charlie Brown Ramadan

_By: J. M. Blockhead_

* * *

_For Akram Sobhy_

* * *

Lucy Van Pelt sat in her living room chair reading _The Pine Tree Corners Daily Times_. Her prejudiced eyes fixed firmly on the paper's bloody headline: RADICAL MUSLIM COMITTS SHOOTING AT NEWARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! 50 SHOT… 16 DEAD… REST BADLY WOUNDED! Lucy shouted for her little brother.

"Linus!" she called. Linus came nonetheless, but knew nothing about his sister's plans to proselytize him into believing her when she said what came uttering out of her mind and passed her racist lips.

"What is it, Lucy," he answered.

"Read this," she said. Linus read the headline aloud. Of course he did, but his pleasant philosophical nature possessed no broad generalizations against any typical faith even under tempting circumstances such as these. Whether or not Linus agreed with her, Lucy showed no interest in his personal point of views. She spoke in religious slurs, as she was now under her latest pseudo-accurate impression that there was somehow a connection between radical jihadists and the overall religion of Islam. "This world is getting too small for the two of us, Linus," she said, "These towel-heads are all alike! Whenever they get angry about something they take to violence! They're trying to convert the whole world, Linus, and we need to prove them for who they truly are!"

"I don't think they're _all_ the same, Lucy," Linus replied calmly, "It just so happens that the vast majority of Muslims are quite peaceful. I think you should learn more about it."

Lucy was shocked. "What do you mean I should learn more about it?!" she said.

Linus repeated, "I think you should learn more about it."

* * *

That next morning, the little red-haired girl, Heather's, official legal guardian and godfather came out of his house to get the mail. He got the mail out of his mailbox and headed back for the sheltered refuge. Once he was inside, Heather came downstairs in her pajamas.

"Did anything come for me, Uncle Jacob?" she asked.

"Let me see, Heather. Let me see." Uncle Jacob sorted through the mail and caught his eye on the two separate copies of Mensa Magazine, one addressed to Heather and the other to Uncle Jacob (who was also a member). "We've got to tell them to send only one copy of Mensa Magazine," he concluded. Heather and her Uncle Jacob were both esteemed intellectuals, Heather with an IQ of a hundred and sixty-eight! They both belonged to Mensa, the oldest high IQ club in the world and one of the most honorable societies for the extremely intelligent (if not the most), and they both had their own subscriptions to their monthly magazine. It was true they only needed one copy, and Uncle Jacob had thought that to himself all along, though he was just now saying something about it. He handed Heather her copy and set his down on the table.

"Did anything else come for me, Uncle Jacob," she asked, "Did _Charlie Brown_ send me a letter? You know how I love him, Uncle Jacob." You might find it quite surprising that _the_ little red-haired girl, she whom Charlie Brown had always so unrequitedly admired, was finally taking notice of him. This was a common misconception. Heather had always taken notice of Charlie Brown. In fact, his goofiness around her made her laugh heartily (which is the entire key to getting a girl). It was kind of strange to think that Charlie Brown's humiliating himself would actually win Heather over, but, all in all, Heather had even given him a note declaring her mutual admiration for him as well. So, why was Heather expecting a letter from him? Well, it just so happens that Charlie Brown was getting somewhat used to the little red-haired girl and eventually wound up dating her. He didn't ask her out though. She asked him. "Did Charlie Brown send me a letter, Uncle Jacob," Heather asked again.

Uncle Jacob said he didn't see anything addressed to her from Charlie Brown. But wait! There was a letter there for her! Uncle Jacob handed it to her. He said it was from Saudi Arabia!

"Oh! I'll bet it's from my pen pal Akilah!" she said. Uncle Jacob told her to open it up, and she did just that. She tore open the top of the envelope and reached deep inside for its contents. She pulled out the letter. It _was_ from Akilah! Upon asking her what terms it was written on and what exactly it stated, Heather began to read the correspondence to her Uncle Jacob. Heather was very fluent in Arabic as she was in very many languages, yet she had not the duty to translate it for him, as the letter was written in English. It went on as follows:

**Dear Heather,**

**So glad I could finally write to you! I hope that life is treating you well, and God is giving you his rewards. Is your Uncle Jacob doing okay? How is Med School going for him? I find it hard to believe he's going to be a doctor when he hates the sight of blood and organs.**

"Why does everyone ask that?" said Uncle Jacob. This is true. It _was _odd that Heather's Uncle Jacob was going through Medical School when he hated the sight of blood and organs. He didn't have to. Honestly! So, why was he putting himself through all of this? Well, first of all, Uncle Jacob was not training o become a surgeon; although this is the first thing people tend to think of when they hear the term 'Medical School'. No, Uncle Jacob was training to become an oncologist, administering chemotherapy to cancer patients. He still had to attend anatomy theater though, but he forced himself to go on for the sake of his dear mother who had been diagnosed with stage-four ovarian cancer when he was only fifteen. (His mother who- thank God- was still alive to this day.) Heather continued:

**Anyways, I have wonderful news to write to you about. The Islamic festival of Ramadan is rapidly approaching (as you are well aware of), and my parents** **agreed to let me come visit you. I hope you're in the mood for celebrating! I know I can't wait to see you in person! My parents gave me money to stay at a motel. I can understand if you guys want your privacy. My plane arrives today, this afternoon, so I hope you and your Uncle Jacob can come and pick me up. I'm excited to finally meet you. See you there!**

**Your Pen Pal,**

**Akilah.**

Heather was run ecstatic by this late news. She couldn't wait to see Akilah either, especially now that she got to see her in person.

"Can we go and pick her up, Uncle Jacob!" she asked him. Uncle Jacob agreed. He liked Akilah, though he had never actually met her, but he knew that Akilah sounded kind to Heather. She would always right nicely to the little red-haired girl and never used even the slightest iota of profanity. She and Heather had been pen pals for only the Lord, or Allah, knew how long. And so, it was decided. Heather and Uncle Jacob would get their things tidied up, then they would depart for the airport at noon.


	2. Akilah Arrives

The time was 3:30 PM, and the airport was somewhere between slightly crowded and scarcely occupied. Uncle Jacob looked at the electronic screen in the airport's vestibule while Heather just stood there next to him, waiting.

"When does the next flight from Riyadh come in, Uncle Jacob," she asked. She was starting to lose her patience, though her tone of voice showed nothing of it.

Uncle Jacob replied, "Well, let's see… Ah, right now! Come on!" The flight from Riyadh had just popped up and Uncle Jacob took Heather's hand and brought her with him to the gate. Heather went along smiling, happy that Akilah's flight had finally come.

* * *

Gate 22: and Heather and Uncle Jacob stood in full view of the tube connecting to the plane to wait for Akilah. Many full grown men and women came out of the tunnel (most of whom were Islamic), but there was no sign of any little girl traveling alone. Heather was getting nervous. This was the day's final flight from Riyadh to Pine Tree Corners. Akilah must have been on it. Worried sick about just where on earth she was Heather called out her Uncle Jacob.

"Has there been a mistake?" she vexed, "Maybe Akilah's letter got here a day early." She was sad, "Maybe she's not coming until tomorrow!" Heather closed her eyes and hung her head down in despair until she heard an unfamiliar voice call her name. It wasn't Uncle Jacob's. It sounded more like a little girl with a foreign accent. Plus, Uncle Jacob never mispronounced her name.

"Hezah! Hezah!" Heather turned around like lightning and saw the source of the stranger's voice. It _was _a little girl, and she wore a loose dress, an Islamic-crescent-moon necklace, and a sapphire blue half-niqab veil.

"Akilah!" Heather screamed then went running up to her and gave her a hug. You might find it quite fantastic that Akilah was able to spot Heather out in a crowd at the airport as if she were Joan of Arc looking for King Charles VII. Actually, who she really spotted was her Uncle Jacob. Akilah knew from Heather's subsequent writings that her Uncle Jacob had a moustache and beard and always wore a formal suit and tie complete with a speak-for-itself pair of slacks and ultra-elegant wingtips wherever he went, so it was easy to spot Heather in the crowd with him. "Oh! It's so nice to finally see you!" Heather said.

Akilah spoke in a thick Saudi accent, "It is a plezhah to meet you too, Hezah."

"How did I not see you come out," Heather asked, "I never miss a face at the airport. That's pretty impressive."

Akilah responded kindly, "Well, I guess I _cahnn_ be pretty un-ahb-troo-sive."

Uncle Jacob intervened on their conversation to greet Akilah then joined in on the talk.

"Well, I had better take care of my beess-neess before I leave zee airport," Akilah started, "Do you know a good motel I cahnn stay een?"

Heather started back, "Of course, we know a good motel! It's fresh! It's new! And, it's our house." Uncle Jacob and Heather had decided that Akilah shouldn't stay in a motel all alone. It was not only dangerous, but it also carried a complete lack of company with it. Akilah had come to visit Heather, so she had to stay in Heather's house.

Akilah was slightly uncertain about it. "Goodneess," she said, "Are you shoor, Hezah? I cahnn always stay at zee motel."

Heather confirmed, "Of course, I'm sure!" and Akilah got her things and took a ride with them back to their humble abode. "Besides," she said, "you need to save your money for souvenirs."

* * *

Akilah marveled at the house that Heather lived in, even though she only lived there for six days out of the week. On Sundays she went to abide with her parents and her older brother Dave. A slight portrayal of Dave: though he and Heather's Uncle Jacob were very close friends (Uncle Jacob obtained the position of looking after Heather through Dave), Dave always managed to drive him insane. Dave was thoroughly described as a total imbecile who constantly told his inappropriate zingers, took no responsibility for his own actions, and always did the polar opposite of what Uncle Jacob asked of him. A fond humph: Dave never seemed to grow up. He was surprisingly thirty-three, the exact same age as Uncle Jacob, yet he had the psychological mentality of a two year-old. But, enough about Dave, I don't generally seek the pleasure of conveying for another person's shortcomings regardless of how severe the circumstances. I must get back to my story or Heather's story as it were. Anyways, it was a decent sized house. There are some who might even call it a mansion. It wasn't really a mansion, though not too far from it. In fact, the closet space was exquisitely commodious. There was even a grand piano in the living room, which Heather had learned to play stimulatingly well. Akilah and Heather ate dinner together: fettuccini alfredo whose saucy taste was both pungent of cheese and creamy like fresh hollandaise. Then, they took their showers and went to bed. Heather said good night to Akilah. Akilah said good night to Heather, and Heather started back from the guest room entrance back to her own dormitory. She was already in her pajamas, climbed straight into bed, turned out her night table lamp, turned over on her side, and drifted far off into sleep.


End file.
